Back in November of last year (2020), I published a blog post titled Coronavirus and Me discussing my thoughts, feelings and what life was like for me in relation to the pandemic. Eight months later things have changed somewhat, but then again not at all. Seeing as our government and the majority of the public think it is all over and we have officially bypassed what had apparently been dubbed 'Freedom Day' I wanted to come back to this subject and weigh-in, 240 days on.
This post probably will be rather wordy and a little like a brain dump, FYI.
So to start out just like back in that first post, I'm breaking down the below areas. Make sure to go back to that post to read all about back then and below is purely related to the last 240 days (from November until now).
Instances where I have left my house in the past 240 days:
Walks - 18.
Seeing parents - 5 times.
Car Journeys - 2 per day, 6 days a week until June and then 2 per day, 4 days a week since.
2 visits to Beamish open-air museum.
2 visits to the outdoor farm shop.
2 garden centre visits.
Things I still have not done:
Been into any shop or store.
Eaten out or been to a pub etc.
Travelled on any holidays or day trips.
Entered any other buildings (minus the Beamish entrance and Garden centre).
Met up with/seen anyone other than my parents.
Met up with/seen anyone other than my parents.
What I have spent my time doing:
Reading 36 books (so far).
Housework.
Crafts and Gardening.
Watching TV Series' and Movies.
Playing with and caring for our animals.
Working out.
Blogging.
So as you can see, especially if you read part 1, very little has changed for me this year. Though the things that have changed were big for me. I am literally petrified of getting ill and so the times I have been anywhere outside my house, despite being masked up and staying a minimum of 2+ meters away from anyone else, my anxiety has still been through the roof and those moments were huge hurdles.
As the so-called 'lockdowns' eased and 'restrictions' were relaxed, people started doing more and more typically normal things. My original lockdown has never ended.
I say 'so-called lockdowns' because I personally believe we had only 1 lockdown, the original in March 2020, because all the others we're not imposed or strict at all. I remember sitting in the back garden around the beginning of April 2020 and it being silent. Hardly a car on the main road near us. Once that lockdown ended everything became almost as busy as pre-Covid. The roads were always busy, the queues outside shops were long (we saw when driving past as we only do online shopping), public places from beaches to parks were heaving and no one seemed phased by the pandemic...they still don't. It's funny to me that people have complained and moaned non-stop about their freedom being taken away when there isn't really much you can't do. Of course, now our idiotic government have gotten bored of it all and just pretty much said ''handle it on your own'' so you can literally do whatever you want, but even before that you could eat out, go to the pub, go on trips, see family and friends for the vast majority of the year...so tell me exactly how you had no freedom?
It becomes infuriating, to be honest. I go between sadness, anger and fear on a loop. There isn't really anything I miss though. Like, I don't yearn to go anywhere or do anything because even before we weren't social/eat out/pub type people, I just wish I was able to go on a walk without my death fear and not have to take my inhaler more than I have in years due to a mask compromising my breathing. I can appreciate that some people have homes purely to sleep in and prefer to be out and about all the time but it really isn't so hard to be at home and boredom is definitely a choice.
As mentioned in the first of these posts, we did miss out on our honeymoon and have actually never had a break away together at all minus 1 night in Edinburgh. That I am angry about and will never get over but we have realized that a honeymoon will not be on the cards in probably the next 5-10 years now. I'd rather be alive.
A quote directly from my other post sums up my feelings pretty well - ''That's it. That has been my year. I never know what day of the week it is. I feel a total burden to my family and my physical and mental health has taken a dive. So forgive me for not being understanding that you are saying your 'life has been ruined' or your 'freedom has been taken away' while you still go shopping, out to eat, to the pub, see your family and friends, go on holiday or for days and weekends away in the UK.''
I am so lucky that I wasn't working before the pandemic hit and I didn't need to rush into finding a job because there is no way I could be in any sort of workplace right now but that is where the burden feelings come in. My husband is incredible. The hardest worker, the most supportive partner, the best friend and I couldn't have gotten through any of this without the amazing person he is. We are also very lucky that for work he is a head chef but not in a traditional place. He works pretty much alone, with no contact with the public or anything. He is able to wear a mask all day, there is a great ventilation system and he is always socially distanced from the 2 other people in the building, which is a big weight off my mind. We are not well off by any means, but I completely appreciate how privileged we are to be able to feed ourselves and our pets and have a roof over our head.
Of course, my parents are also a fantastic support as usual. More so than so many other parents out there. Another huge relief these past 240 days is that my Mam was able to take (slightly early, as in half a year) retirement so she is no longer at as much risk due to working in childcare. My Dads health has also improved, worry number 3 down. They are both still not going far, wearing masks and they use the little at-home test things regularly also.
If it wasn't clear from this post, 'Freedom Day' changes nothing for us and I will be carrying on with my life as it is for many months, perhaps years to come. Masks for sure are something I will not be without in public ever again.
To bring this to a close before I don't stop I just want to say hygiene is and has always been important. Don't be a scumbag. Wash your hands, use hand sanitiser when out and about, don't sneeze/cough/etc into your hands, don't touch things that you don't need to touch, be respectful of peoples personal space and lastly just be kind. You have no idea what other people are going through, ever.
As the so-called 'lockdowns' eased and 'restrictions' were relaxed, people started doing more and more typically normal things. My original lockdown has never ended.
I say 'so-called lockdowns' because I personally believe we had only 1 lockdown, the original in March 2020, because all the others we're not imposed or strict at all. I remember sitting in the back garden around the beginning of April 2020 and it being silent. Hardly a car on the main road near us. Once that lockdown ended everything became almost as busy as pre-Covid. The roads were always busy, the queues outside shops were long (we saw when driving past as we only do online shopping), public places from beaches to parks were heaving and no one seemed phased by the pandemic...they still don't. It's funny to me that people have complained and moaned non-stop about their freedom being taken away when there isn't really much you can't do. Of course, now our idiotic government have gotten bored of it all and just pretty much said ''handle it on your own'' so you can literally do whatever you want, but even before that you could eat out, go to the pub, go on trips, see family and friends for the vast majority of the year...so tell me exactly how you had no freedom?
It becomes infuriating, to be honest. I go between sadness, anger and fear on a loop. There isn't really anything I miss though. Like, I don't yearn to go anywhere or do anything because even before we weren't social/eat out/pub type people, I just wish I was able to go on a walk without my death fear and not have to take my inhaler more than I have in years due to a mask compromising my breathing. I can appreciate that some people have homes purely to sleep in and prefer to be out and about all the time but it really isn't so hard to be at home and boredom is definitely a choice.
As mentioned in the first of these posts, we did miss out on our honeymoon and have actually never had a break away together at all minus 1 night in Edinburgh. That I am angry about and will never get over but we have realized that a honeymoon will not be on the cards in probably the next 5-10 years now. I'd rather be alive.
A quote directly from my other post sums up my feelings pretty well - ''That's it. That has been my year. I never know what day of the week it is. I feel a total burden to my family and my physical and mental health has taken a dive. So forgive me for not being understanding that you are saying your 'life has been ruined' or your 'freedom has been taken away' while you still go shopping, out to eat, to the pub, see your family and friends, go on holiday or for days and weekends away in the UK.''
I am so lucky that I wasn't working before the pandemic hit and I didn't need to rush into finding a job because there is no way I could be in any sort of workplace right now but that is where the burden feelings come in. My husband is incredible. The hardest worker, the most supportive partner, the best friend and I couldn't have gotten through any of this without the amazing person he is. We are also very lucky that for work he is a head chef but not in a traditional place. He works pretty much alone, with no contact with the public or anything. He is able to wear a mask all day, there is a great ventilation system and he is always socially distanced from the 2 other people in the building, which is a big weight off my mind. We are not well off by any means, but I completely appreciate how privileged we are to be able to feed ourselves and our pets and have a roof over our head.
Of course, my parents are also a fantastic support as usual. More so than so many other parents out there. Another huge relief these past 240 days is that my Mam was able to take (slightly early, as in half a year) retirement so she is no longer at as much risk due to working in childcare. My Dads health has also improved, worry number 3 down. They are both still not going far, wearing masks and they use the little at-home test things regularly also.
If it wasn't clear from this post, 'Freedom Day' changes nothing for us and I will be carrying on with my life as it is for many months, perhaps years to come. Masks for sure are something I will not be without in public ever again.
To bring this to a close before I don't stop I just want to say hygiene is and has always been important. Don't be a scumbag. Wash your hands, use hand sanitiser when out and about, don't sneeze/cough/etc into your hands, don't touch things that you don't need to touch, be respectful of peoples personal space and lastly just be kind. You have no idea what other people are going through, ever.
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