Oh, yet another 30-something female has been diagnosed with Autism! I'm sure that's what you're thinking. But I assure you after years of waiting for this final assessment and diagnosis and many, many years before that struggling through life, this hasn't come to this point because of some trend or social media video.
In fact, it wasn't until after my husband and I had already been discussing it and brought it up to my parents that my Mam mentioned a TV show by Christine McGuinness discussing Autism. I don't really 'do' social media, have never had a 'Tik Tok' and had no idea the traction that late diagnosis, especially in AFAB people, had been gaining until recently either. Although of course there is no right or wrong way to come to the conclusion that you may be on the spectrum, I just wanted to clarify that my diagnosis has not come from just seeing a video and relating to it - rather from years of discussions and research.
So yes, I am Autistic.
Freak. Weirdo. Nutter. Misfit. Loser. Saddo. Loner. Different. Other words that may have been used to describe me throughout my life and all are correct. That's fine by me. But now I know why. My brain is wired differently so my thoughts, feelings, reactions, interactions and everything else in between aren't the same as neurotypical people. For as long as I can remember I've always challenged people who use the word 'Normal' to describe someone because what even is normal? How do you classify someone as normal or abnormal? You can't. We're all normal and abnormal in equal measure because no matter how our brains work we are still all unique individuals who see the world in our own ways.
I had no plan for this blog post apart from just wanting to let it out into the universe that I am happy to be able to answer exactly 'What is wrong with you?!' with - I have Autism. My life has started to make so much more sense and although everything I have had to cope with from birth until the present could have been made easier had we known all along, I have been given a sort of closure for all of those struggles and I am thankful to be in the privileged position to have been firstly, listened to by my GP, secondly had access to free healthcare via the NHS and finally been assessed by a kind human being who made it as easy as possible for me.
This could become a multi-post series and maybe I will revisit it all at a later date, but for now, that's all I want to say. Short and sweet.
Hopefully, now that all the stress of my impending trip to the mental hospital* is over, I can maybe get caught up with some blog work. At the time of writing this I'm a month behind on daily photos alone...ouch!
Until next time...
* I did actually have to go to a mental health hospital for my assessment. The same one (well, it has the same name, the old one is abandoned) I was told I needed to go to by bullying kids when I was young.
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